striders:

once a straight boy was tryina holler n he literally texted me the phrase “*turns into a wolf and snuggles your boobs*” like???? buddy you weird as fuck i wasnt interested to begin with but now im fuckin worried about you like what the hell

(via buildabitchworkshop)

klecktacular:

I’m an adult

klecktacular:

I’m an adult

(via swarnpert)

ieg:

sensei:

commanderabutt:

fagsindubai:

Friendly reminder  ԅ(≖‿≖ԅ) that if you don’t sleep with someone for the sole reason that they’re HIV positive then you ARE being discriminatory towards a human being with a disease and you’re scum of the earth 。◕‿◕。 It’s basically as bad as saying you couldn’t love somebody with cancer. Respect people’s feelings. (◕‿◕✿)

image

this site is absolutely TOO MUCH

incredible

(via swarnpert)

snorlaxatives:

i lost my virginity inside the night club on club penguin 

(via swarnpert)

(via kchapp)

madeofwut:

casperthefriendlycunt:

ethyne:

you’ve probably sat next to a boy in class that’s had a boner before

they were sitting next to me of course they had a boner 

Touché

(via pizza)

hospitalstays:

image

school cum

(via swarnpert)

externalrespiration:

uncomfortableheterosexualperson:

in Ireland you’re not even allowed to look at alcohol on Good Friday, let alone buy it. Dirty heathens.

sometimes i forget how catholic this country is

externalrespiration:

uncomfortableheterosexualperson:

in Ireland you’re not even allowed to look at alcohol on Good Friday, let alone buy it. Dirty heathens.

sometimes i forget how catholic this country is

(via swarnpert)

consolecadet:

if you ever need to turn down unwanted sexual advances, do it Dr. Seuss style

I would not fuck you in a box

I would not fuck you wearing socks

I would not fuck you here or there

I would not fuck you anywhere

(via castielsvessel)

dannyrandy:

i am constantly amazed by straight dudes but not in like a good way

dannyrandy:

i am constantly amazed by straight dudes but not in like a good way

(via penis-hilton)

peanutbutterandsquats:

lilyredneck:

dut-dut-goose:

queenofferrets:

juzanotherblog:

new bra from victoria secret! :) 

A woman stands in her bedroom. She is with her attractive male lover. The air is filled with desire. They both look into each other’s eyes. The female, with a slightly bashful smile, takes off her clothes, starting with the pants first, and finally the shirt. She is wearing the bra. The man’s eyes opened wider in interest. His interest is peaked. The woman strutted closer to him, her eyes batting and her smile growing. She leans into his ear and with a breathy voice, she spoke:“Lettuce fuck.” 

I graduate in three days, I pay my own bills, I have a car, and I’m reading fanfiction about a lettuce bra.

It has a little lettuce bow.

I’ve been laughing for 7 minutes oh my god

peanutbutterandsquats:

lilyredneck:

dut-dut-goose:

queenofferrets:

juzanotherblog:

new bra from victoria secret! :) 

A woman stands in her bedroom. She is with her attractive male lover. The air is filled with desire. They both look into each other’s eyes. The female, with a slightly bashful smile, takes off her clothes, starting with the pants first, and finally the shirt. She is wearing the bra. The man’s eyes opened wider in interest. His interest is peaked. The woman strutted closer to him, her eyes batting and her smile growing. She leans into his ear and with a breathy voice, she spoke:

“Lettuce fuck.” 

I graduate in three days, I pay my own bills, I have a car, and I’m reading fanfiction about a lettuce bra.

It has a little lettuce bow.

I’ve been laughing for 7 minutes oh my god

(via pizza)

mamayuuma:

"what will your kids think of that tattoo?"
my kids aren’t going to give 2 shits because i’m not going to raise them to be a judgmental asshole like yours did

(via morganfreemansturtle)

icarly-official:

that escalated quickly

icarly-official:

that escalated quickly

(via swarnpert)